"Your teeth are like the stars."..."Awwww pretty?"..."No, yellow and far away from each other."
Suicide is stupid? You wanna know what is stupid? Hurting someone so much emotionally, that they think suicide is the only answer.
First day of school hoes be like ''New Year, New Me''. Bitch please, ain't nobody forget about what you did last year.
Excuse me, bitch you don't need to shout!
That awkward moment when your mom compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than you.
Dear Haters, I am flattered that I'm always a trending topics in your life.
Sincerely, The awesome me.
Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never sold marijuana.
Common sense is so rare it should be considered a superpower nowadays.
There are young kids out there trying to find porn on youtube.
I'm really sorry I offended you when I called you a slut. I honestly had no idea you thought it was a secret.
Oh, I'm a few minutes late to class? Please, stare at me like I just killed five people.
White Guy: Babe you cold? Heres my jacket. Black Guy:You cold? Ain't nobody Tell yo ass to come outside with no jacket, tryna be cute!
Let's face it: Big boobs don't count if you're fat.
13 year old girls out here thinking they are "bad bitches".
Child, you don't even have tits yet. Shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down.
I'm not saying she's a Slut but I found her G-Spot on Google Maps.
Sex without love is like ice cream without sprinkles? still pretty fucking awesome.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy fuck you all.
SARCASM: Because beating the hell out of people is illegal.
Listen, I'm not fat ok, I'm just so sexy that it overflows.
hey bitch, yeah you. I found your nose. It was in my business again.
If a girl says, "I hate drama" there is a 99% chance she is a huge drama queen.
School sucks more dick than the sluts who attend it.
Home Alone! Expectation: Party! Party!
Reality: Peeing with the door open.
Stop trying to tell people what they have isn’t going to last just because you have nothing.
Santa is the ultimate hipster, Works one day a year and spends the rest of the year judging you.
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
Hoes be like "I don't suck dick." Niggas be like "Come on just this one time" Hoes be like "Just once? don't tell nobody"*drops to knees*
Wow seriously? 13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, pussies.
You know the women that say: "Why are hot guys always jerks, and the nice guys always taken?" You're fat. Stop making fucking excuses.
Me + ☊ = Don't even try to talking to me.
"K" = the most powerful way to piss someone off while texting.
My ex texted me saying, "You can delete my number, I don't give a fuck no more."
I texted back saying, "Who this?"
Pick a number between 0 and 0. That's the number of fucks I give.
Keep your relationship OFF Facebook because I guarantee you that NOBODY gives a fuck especially me.
Fuck people who lock their wifi.
I'm not saying you're a skank i'm just surprise Facebook hasn't made your vagina a place to "check in" yet.
Self control: The ability to prevent myself from beating the sh*t out of someone who desperately needs it.
Don't judge a book by its cover unless the book is a fucking annoying bitch who needs to be high fived in the face with a chair.
I really hate when someone makes plans with me, then cancels them last minute. Bitch, I even showered for you.
No one gives a fuck if your happy, no one gives a fuck if your sad, but somehow everyone cares when you die.
That awkward moment when a slut wears clothes.